3 Steps To Free You From Negative Self-Talk

3 steps to free negativity

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Do you find it feels like more effort to think positively?

You may even feel like negative self-talk is ruling your mind.

Anxiety can certainly bring on negative self-talk. Particularly when you don’t understand why you feel the way you do. You begin to question and blame yourself. Everything in your life is great, what are you complaining about? Why do you feel like you do?

The thing is:

It’s not your fault that you feel this way.

As humans we have what’s called the Negativity Bias, meaning, we focus and hold onto the negative more than we do the positive. It’s part of our learning mechanism for survival which was much more relevant in the times where we were hunter-gatherers. 

It may seem impossible, but there is a way to be free from negative self-talk, here’s how:

3 Steps To Free You From Negative Self-Talk

    1. Find your ‘stop’ word: When you notice you’re having negative thoughts, it can lead you down a path of following those thoughts, to then create a whole scenario that just isn’t true. What you need is a ‘stop’ word. This can be any word, including an affirmation or mantra. Every time your thoughts take you down this path of negativity you can use your chosen word to ‘stop’ the thought pattern.

      Using this ‘stop’ word encourages you to become an observer of that thought.

      You can use this technique in everyday life or during a silent meditation, relaxation or pranayama.By using your ‘stop’ word, you acknowledge the thought is there, and then make a choice if you’d like to continue with that thought or move on. For example, for a long time I would use ‘Wahe, Guru’ as my ‘stop’ mantra.
    2. Question yourself: After using your ‘stop’ word, immediately ask yourself these three questions:
      “why did I say that”
      “does this thought make me feel good”
      “does this thought benefit my overall wellbeing

      If you can’t answer the first question, that’s ok. It’s there for contemplation. If you answer ‘no’ to the last two questions, then it’s an indicator that the thought is going to cause you more harm than good. You can acknowledge it and then move on to letting it go.

    3. Reassurance: I like to follow my questioning with an affirmation. Either sticking with a ‘go to’ affirmation, or using the opposite to the negative thought pattern I was just experiencing. For example “Just keep going”, “everything will be okay”, “I’m stronger than I think”.

Bonus Step! Appreciation

If you find the first three steps a struggle, and trust me, I know that on bad days it can be hard, then practicing appreciation will help. 

When you find you can’t seem to stop your negative self-talk, then look around you and focus on one thing to appreciate. Say to yourself out loud, and if possible write it down. It could be as simple as appreciating a cup of coffee or tea, simply stating “I appreciate this cup of coffee”.

A Healthy Habit To Manage Negative Self-Talk

With practice, you can be free from negativity and negative self-talk. 

Honestly, once you get into the habit of taking these steps, you’ll begin to find you go through them a lot quicker and easier. It will become automatic.

You see, the brain loves to be efficient, so it can spend its energy on other much more important functions. By creating a healthy habit like this, you will feel happier and more at ease.

Before I go, there’s one more thing you need to know.

There’s this misconception that we aren’t born whole. As if we are born with pieces missing. And because of that we need to be ‘fixed’.

The thing is, we’re born with all the resources we need as individuals to overcome any of life’s challenges. We just need to reconnect to that place personal power and you can do that through Yoga and Meditation.

Have you got steps you take or practices you use to be free of Negative Self-Talk? I'd love to hear them!

Sharing helps us all to learn and grow.

Peace & Punk

Sat Nam


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